----- The Dread Pirate smiles at the little girl and says, "Aye, I like children. Fry 'em up with a bit o' salt and butter, they taste just like chicken. That were a spot o' good thinkin, Kazel. What with our hurry to get outta town, we didn't really have a chance to properly provision ourselves fer the trip to Oakwood. She looks a bit thin, but I'm sure she'll be nice and tender anyways. Good eatin'. Not like dwarves, no offense Runik. But dwarves are all hair and gristle. And sour, like crabapples. Horrible eatin. And it'd take ferever to properly baste and fricasee Krord. And we need Brandel to keep Krord in line, so we can't eat him either. We couldn't even really eat Marast either, if'n he were here. Those elves are all pretty gamy, probably from all the roots and shrubberies they're always eatin. And I'd feel real guilty eatin either o' you two. Probably give me a horrible case o' indigestion."
-----Dread pats his belly fondly and continues unloading the loot, reminiscing "Ahhh, this all puts me in mind of this elven ship's cook we once had. Aloysius Phlegm was his name. Five hundred pound he weighed, if it was an ounce. We had to use a block and tackle to get him on board. Subsisted solely on a diet of plover eggs and small children. The things he could do with a rib roast you wouldn't believe. A virtual melange of gustatory delights. Insisted on usin' only human children though. Said humans reproduced like rabbits anyway, there bein so many of 'em they wouldn't really miss one or two here and there. He finally got so huge and bloated durin one voyage that he couldn't fit out o' the ship's galley door anymore. Which proved to be a blessin really, cuz soon after that the side o' the ship were stove in by the great dragon turtle, Gamera. It ate poor old Aloysius in two massive bites. Then it must have been fulled up, for it swam off, leavin the rest of us alone. Aye, Aloyius saved us all."
-----Dread sniffs sentimentally, then finishes hauling the booty into the tower.